


two years ago

by TheSkyrimLife (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Sharing a Bed, Swearing, TOM HOLLAND'S DOGGO, Tessa Holland - Freeform, Trans Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 09:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20043952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/TheSkyrimLife
Summary: Peter is six months out of high school, living in a mediocre Queens apartment with MJ, a new puppy, and a mural of Kermit. Even years after the trauma, there is still pain and suffering.Endgame and Far From Home Spoilers in This Fic





	two years ago

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
This story deals with major themes of grief, suffering, depression, and death. If you can't handle that, please do not read this. It's okay if you can't. Life is hard. I won't blame you. If you do read this and it is too much, I'm very sorry, but you were warned.

She hadn't fallen asleep, getting home late and going out to a movie with a few friends. Peter had told her it was fine, that he would be okay. And he had been okay. She'd check in on him, texting just about every thirty minutes (making her friends glare, the M&M's told her not to text during the film), and he would reply with selfies of him and Ned eating churros on the roof of their building, the new Pit Bull mix puppy they had gotten a few weeks back tucked in the neck of his hoodie, her tongue out lopsided and a front paw sticking out of the narrow hole she was nested in. They'd named her Tessa, for no particular reason other than it just seemed natural.

So she stayed out, until ten-thirty, when she hailed a taxi, got into the slow, slow elevator, walked down the hall, put her key into the slot, and stepped inside.

Peter was already out cold on the bed in the corner of the studio. One shoe was off, his arm hung loosely off the bed, and Tessa punctuated this whole scene by tumbling over from her seat on their secondhand couch.

"Hey, sweet girl," said MJ, scratching behind her ear. She was getting big, and her friend Gunnar said she would likely be fifty to eighty pounds. But right now, she was just a baby with a little tongue that stuck out of her mouth when she slept.

She changed into a tank top and fleece pajama pants covered in cartoon renditions of Kermit. They matched the mural that her cousin Miles had spray painted on the wall. Neither of them really knew why they loved Kermit so much, but they'd told family "It's for the meme."

MJ gently lifted up his arm and snuck in under it, pulling one of her Abuela's old quilts up over them and Tessa, who'd used Peter's homemade doggy ladder to lie in between. He was quiet, his breathing the only sound puncturing the silence. He must've woken up, his eyelids fluttering, so he gave her a soft smile.

"Hey."

"'Sup."

"Did you have fun?"

MJ scratched behind her ear. "Yeah, we bought way too much candy. The movie itself was pretty bad, but yes, I suppose we did have fun. What about you and Ned?"

Peter chuckled softly, making a sound that Michelle thought sounded like what a unicorn shit might, clean and perfect and fluffy. "Remember how I told you about the Dominican lady who bought me a churro after I helped her cross the street?" She nodded. "Well, I helped her again today, some guy was trying to take her purse, and after I scared him off, _I_ was the one who bought her a churro. She kept saying, 'No, no, _muchachos_, you don't have to.' So she bought us coffee. Next time I see her, I'll buy her a really nice Dunkin."

"That entire story was the cutest thing I've ever heard."

He shut his eyes. "Mm. I'm gonna take a siesta now. A really, really long siesta."

She put her hand on the side of his head and played with a lock of brown hair. She kept doing that, even after he fell asleep.

About an hour after he'd taken the siesta, he started murmuring.

"Mr. Stark? Can you hear me? It's Peter." He got more desperate. MJ pulled her hand away from his hair. "Can you hear me? Can-can you hear me?" She put Tessa on the floor and scooted out of his reach. Sometimes, he got to thrashing in his night terrors, and she didn't want him to hit them. He kept talking until he said words that made her blood run cold.

"We won, Mr. Stark."

That's when she knew what was happening. He was reliving Tony's sacrifice at the ruins.

MJ shook his arm, frantically trying to wake him up. "Peter, Peter, you have to wake up. It's a dream, Peter. Peter, c'mon." He was crying now, big, fat tears cruising down his face, slipping out at the corners of his eyes. "Peter, listen to me, Peter." Tessa was whimpering, she pattered up the ladder and fell off, setting to try again.

"I'm sorry, Tony, I'm so sorry." He opened his eyes and let out a big breath of air, shooting up in the bed. MJ didn't want to touch him, he was easily startled after everything.

"Peter, are-are you okay? Peter, look at me. Peter."

He looked at her, his face wet with tears. "Where's Tony. I have to see him."

She forgot the no touching rule and grabbed his hand. "Peter, Tony's gone."

His face softened. "It's July of 2021. You're in Queens, in our apartment." He blinked. "The battle was two years ago, baby. Two."

He was quiet, the tears flowing harder. "You're okay, I'm right here." She pulled his hand against her chest. "Okay?"

Peter began to sob. He ripped his hand away and shoved his face into the pillow. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be dealing with this, oh my god, I'm so sorry, please-oh god, oh my-"

MJ touched his hair softly, began running her fingers through it. "Talk to me. I'm not mad at you."

"Are you sure about that? Wouldn't you rather have somebody who's normal? Not a-" She could barely make out what he was saying, it was muffled and choked out in between cries of suffering.

"Peter."

"Y'know, somebody who isn't like me. Who has a dick, who can reproduce, who can sleep without being a traumatized piece of shit, who's a-a fucking REAL MAN!"

That was when she did something she never thought she would've done before. She reached out and slapped the side of his face. "Peter!"

There was silence, his sobs ceasing from the blow. She thought he might've passed out, for his only movement was the rise and fall of his back when he breathed. 

"Peter. You are a real man. You're my real man. Just because you're trans, just because you cry, just because you grieve, like any other person who's ever lost someone. So shut your goddamn mouth and I'll comfort you."

He didn't move at first, but soon, Peter was lying down, pulling up Abuela's quilt and removing his shirt so that she could see the scars.

MJ's finger gently ran across them, studying where the stitches had been pulled out a few years back. "Once, I saw a tumblr post."

Peter sighed. "You see a lot of tumblr posts, MJ." He shuddered lightly and leaned into her hands, which were cruising over his toned stomach.

"Yes, but this one was special, it said something like 'trans boys, those things on your chest aren't boobs, it's your misplaced ballsack'."

He chuckled and shoved his face into her neck, kissing it softly. "That's really good."

She could feel his warm breath right below her ear, and it made her senses elevate. "You know when you do that, I get a massive Peter Tingle."

"Don't ever call it that."

She laughed and rolled over on top of him. He let out a big breath of air, but didn't move and accepted the pressure of her body, wrapping his arms around her middle. “We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere..." MJ's voice trailed off into the quiet.

"Isn't that Ted Bundy?"

She laughed loudly, a sweet, delicious sound that made Peter's heart soar. "Yeah, it's old Teddy."

At that point, Tessa was climbing up the ladder and settling into Peter's arm. She licked the side of his face, and he unwound his arm to briefly scratch her head. "You're such a good girl, Tess."

MJ kissed his other hand softly. "Are you gonna leave me for the dog?"

He shoved his face into her short fur, breathing in the scent. "Maybe..."

She rolled off of him and pulled up Abuela's quilt over them. Tessa tumbled onto Peter's chest and MJ put her face into his side. "The neighbors probably hate us by now."

"Well they can suck my dick."

"And they can eat my ass."

**Author's Note:**

> Hooo, boy. It's been months and months since I've written fic, and this shit ain't even gay.
> 
> Gunnar is my name, and I've been studying dogs since I was about five years old. Come at me bro. (i'm MJ's friend in this story. what an attention whore)
> 
> Comment to up my self esteem, and even if you don't, just leave kudos. It's one click. Thanks!
> 
> Also, this is Tessa! The size she is in this picture is the size she is in the fic. https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwi14trHy93jAhXCMXwKHQG-DfEQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fweheartit.com%2Fentry%2F312499672&psig=AOvVaw22POnAM9TWeJsnWWetcHkd&ust=1564608606785353
> 
> Thank you to Tom Holland and Zendaya for keeping my bi ass aroused the whole film. Also, thank you to Steph0Sims on YouTube for having that awesome picture of Kermit in the corner of your million dollar mansion.


End file.
